1/4/2023 0 Comments Kat find love or die trying![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() So it is with discordant energy levels between two people. #KAT FIND LOVE OR DIE TRYING HOW TO#Their energy-level is night-and-day different from yours, and it’s profoundly aggravating you may love them with all your heart, but right then, you’re contemplating how to hide the body. “If you talk to me before 10:30, then you’re implicitly agreeing to absolve me of all responsibility for what I do next.” Think about morning people if you’re like me and are only barely human before your morning coffee, somebody who hops out of bed at 6 AM totally refreshed and ready for the cartoon birds to do her hair and make-up will inspire you to try to set them on fire with the power of your hate. By matching their energy level, you’re helping to establish the first link that the two of you are similar. If they’re excited and bouncy, then it’s better for you to be more enthusiastic and energetic. When you’re first approaching somebody, you want to match their energy level if they’re calm or laid back, you want to be calm and laid back as well. After all, if you’re at a high-energy dance and you’re hanging around in the corner like Eeyore’s little black rain-cloud, people are going to wonder why the hell you’re there you’re simply not congruent with your surroundings. By energy I mean the level of intensity and enthusiasm you’re bringing to the interaction – your level of excitement, the speed and emphasis with which you speak… all of this needs to be congruent not only with where you are but the person you’re interacting with. The first step in establishing rapport with somebody is to be on their level, energy-wise. Some of them are subtle and some are overt, but they all have the same goal: showing that the two of you are similar indeed. The key to charisma, to getting people to like you, is to establish that yes, you are the same in all of these myriad ways. This is part of why geeks will often talk amongst their friends in nothing but references by sharing inside jokes, they’re reaffirming that they’re part of the same group and reveling in their mutual love for the works of Joss Whedon or the Chris Claremont/John Byrne-era X-Men comics. When we’re trying to get to know somebody, we’re looking for a signifier that we’re of the same “tribe”, no matter how small.Įver watch a pair of total strangers bond instantly over Doctor Who? Then you’ve seen this happen: they’ve found their similarities in getting the worst case of the Feels after finding out what happened to Amy and Rory. Humans tend to be tribal creatures, and we often divide the world into “Us” and “Not Us”. ![]() Now, this isn’t to say that we’re all doomed to date our clones we need to have enough in common that we feel a connection. In fact, we’re most attracted to people who are like us. Let’s be honest, this is hardly the first time we’ve been misled by cartoon characters. Once you understand how to build rapport with somebody, you’ll find that you’ve gotten an instant bonus to your charisma check.Ĭontrary to what Paula Abdul may have taught us, opposites do not, in fact, attract. Truthfully though, the key to getting people to like you is actually very simple… it’s just that most of us don’t realize it when we’re doing it. When you see something in your way… turn.” I guess?” or their inner workings are so idiosyncratic that the first step to recreating it is “Be that person,” which is about as helpful as saying “Go that way really fast. Of course, when you ask them about it, either they can’t explain it – “I just… talk…. We all have those friends who network the way other people breathe, making friends with ease and charming the pants off people – sometimes literally – while leaving the rest of us in jaw-dropped wonder and jealousy. Now granted, there are a myriad number of answers ranging from the obvious – “try using your wit and charm” – to the arcane – “ Take her through the emotional progression model by the time you get to C3, it’ll be time to enter the seduction stage” and the profoundly useless – “ Buy her enough shit until you’ve maxed out your social meter with her and she’ll sleep with you.” I will never forget the day I saw somebody seriously advocating trying to pick up girls using stuff he’d learned from Bioware games. One of the oldest questions that everybody in the self-help/relationship advice circuit gets is “I like this person, how do I get her to like me?” ![]()
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